A little about me:
- I'm a 38 year old female in Canada
- I'm a registered nurse
- Well.... that's about it, really. I'll cover some more points about myself in a sec.
So, what's my crisis all about? Well, I've come to the stark realisation that I hate my life and need to make some changes. Oh, I've hated my life for a long time now, probably about the last 38 years, but for some reason, I never felt the need to change. I just wallowed in my unhappiness. I don't want to do that anymore. It's not really working for me, you know? I figure, after doing the wrong things for so long, that it's about time I do something right.
Things about my life that I'm just hating right now (yep, these are those other points that I promised to cover!):
- I weigh 280 pounds. Yep, I am 280 pounds of awesomeness. Actually, it's not awesomeness, it's fat. Really. I'm not bountiful, voluptuous, queen-sized, or big & beautiful. I'm obese and it's not fun.
- I've become stuck in a job that I hate. I hate the people I work with and my boss hates me. My usual feelings at work involve words like jealousy, anger, mistrust, penalised, tired, fed-up, used, abused, bitter, and bored.
- I'm stuck in a cycle of trying to improve myself, but then sabotaging myself so that I fail. This revolves around feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and low self-esteem and self-confidence.
- I am constantly in pain. I get pain in my feet, lower back, shoulders, and neck. Plus I have almost constant headaches.
- I cannot stop eating.
- I have been paying off a large amount of debt (about $90,000) for 7 years now. I'm almost halfway there. I should have paid this off by now! I waste money on stupid crap.
- I have poor communication skills and cannot stand up for myself.
- I have no friends. Literally, none.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Sounds great, no?! I do have some good points, which I shall regale you with now:
- I'm a pretty intelligent person. I once sat the MENSA entrance test and failed to pass by one question. I was fairly annoyed by that, let me tell you! One question. I think my IQ is about 140, if that kind of thing is important to you.
- I have a fairly healthy sense of humour. You need to when you're a woman who is 6 feet tall and weighs 280 pounds. And a nurse.
- I'm very honest. Which is strange, because my boss seems to think I'm a liar. However, I think she just can't handle my honesty. I don't know if being honest really is a good point, as it seems to freak people out and they end up not believing you. Weird.
- Hmmm... that's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there's more, but I'm stuck in negative, mid-life crisis mode, so I can't think of anything right now.
Wow, I have some pretty odd qualities. One more thing about me is that I want to make some changes in my life. I've been all talk so far in my life, but now is the time for action. Obviously I can't change everything at once. I need to make some important decisions in the next few days about what I want to tackle first and what I'm going to do.
That's your introduction to me! :) I don't know how all this is going to evolve, but you're welcome to come along for the ride and see how it goes! Any and all suggestions are welcome.
