So, I spent all of yesterday and part of today gouging myself on all types of junk food. Eating to the point of feeling like I'm going to burst. I really regret it now... I've gained four pounds in two days! That takes a huge chunk out of the 10 pounds that I managed to lose in three weeks. All that work, wasted.
Well, I'm back on track now. Full of regret, but hopefully much wiser for it. My plan now that the three week strict cleanse is over is this:
- stick to the clean program 5 days a week on my work days (I find it much easier to stick to the program on work days as my work is really busy and I don't have time to think about eating)
- on my two days off, I'll still stick with 3 healthy, low-calorie meals per day (with one exception, as follows) and three snacks per day
- one meal on my days off can be a treat meal, whether I go out somewhere or just eat in
I'm going to see how this goes for a while and track my progress. Fingers crossed! This is going to be a particularly stressful week at work, as I deal with some annoying issues, so I'm hoping to be able to stick with it.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Frustrations
My final week on the clean program, in which I stuck with the plan just as I have for the first two weeks, as yielded a loss of... zero pounds! So frustrating. This is when I get annoyed with being on a diet, as I see no results for all my efforts to eat healthy. How can I lose no weight when I'm only eating about 1500 calories per day? It makes no sense and, to be completely frank, it pisses me off!
So, that's where I'm at today. Dealing with massive work frustrations, my severe back pain came back this week, and now I haven't lost any weight this week. Oh, and some shelves I tried to put up last weekend.... I screwed it up, damaged the wall, and I can't get anyone out to fix my mess due to my annoying work schedule. My apartment is a mess. Kind of like my life, really.
If anyone happens to know anything about privacy laws in Canada, I'd appreciate you getting in touch. The privacy rights of myself and a group of co-workers was breached at work and we're not getting any answers from our managers. We suspect they're trying to sweep it all under the rug and protect the person who did it. And we're angry about it! We really need some advice.
So, that's where I'm at today. Dealing with massive work frustrations, my severe back pain came back this week, and now I haven't lost any weight this week. Oh, and some shelves I tried to put up last weekend.... I screwed it up, damaged the wall, and I can't get anyone out to fix my mess due to my annoying work schedule. My apartment is a mess. Kind of like my life, really.
If anyone happens to know anything about privacy laws in Canada, I'd appreciate you getting in touch. The privacy rights of myself and a group of co-workers was breached at work and we're not getting any answers from our managers. We suspect they're trying to sweep it all under the rug and protect the person who did it. And we're angry about it! We really need some advice.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
2 Weeks on the Clean Program
Well, I've somehow managed to stick with this diet for two weeks now, which is nothing short of a miracle. Lots of bad stuff going on at work, which would normally have me running for the junk food, so I'm quite pleased with myself for sticking with it. The good news? I've lost 10 pounds in the two weeks that I've been on the program.
Reading the Clean Program book, people seemed to feel amazingly well while on the cleanse. Other than losing weight, I can't say that I've felt any different. I'm not sleeping any better. (TMI warning ahead) In fact, at one point, I got super constipated and had to take a laxative from the drug store. I'm still getting headaches, though, admittedly, they feel less frequent than usual. And my energy levels have been pretty low.
The good thing about this cleanse is that I've never really felt deprived or had major cravings. I've had a few minor moments of being a bit bored with the plain eating and wanted to eat some junk. But I easily resisted the urge to give in to the feelings and they quickly passed. It's surprising to me, because I'm taking in fewer calories than I have in previous diets, but I'm not getting all the usual cravings and feelings of deprivation. I may even carry this on past the three week mark, since it's working out so well for me.
One funny thing that has happened to me. Normally, after three weeks on the program, you then begin to reintroduce food items like dairy, soy, grains, etc, that are not included in the program. Well, I'm afraid to eat them again! I'd definitely like to eat them again, but I'm afraid that if I start, I may not be able to stop again. Dairy and breads are huge binge foods for me and I've enjoyed being able to say for the last two weeks, "no, I can't eat that, it's not on the approved list". It's almost like I need this rigid food program in order to succeed. To be able to include other items after this next week is concerning for me!
Heaviest weight (June 2014): 283 lbs
Starting weight (July 6th, 2014): 280.2 lbs
Current weight (July 20th, 2014): 270.2 lbs
Goal weight: 160 lbs
Reading the Clean Program book, people seemed to feel amazingly well while on the cleanse. Other than losing weight, I can't say that I've felt any different. I'm not sleeping any better. (TMI warning ahead) In fact, at one point, I got super constipated and had to take a laxative from the drug store. I'm still getting headaches, though, admittedly, they feel less frequent than usual. And my energy levels have been pretty low.
The good thing about this cleanse is that I've never really felt deprived or had major cravings. I've had a few minor moments of being a bit bored with the plain eating and wanted to eat some junk. But I easily resisted the urge to give in to the feelings and they quickly passed. It's surprising to me, because I'm taking in fewer calories than I have in previous diets, but I'm not getting all the usual cravings and feelings of deprivation. I may even carry this on past the three week mark, since it's working out so well for me.
One funny thing that has happened to me. Normally, after three weeks on the program, you then begin to reintroduce food items like dairy, soy, grains, etc, that are not included in the program. Well, I'm afraid to eat them again! I'd definitely like to eat them again, but I'm afraid that if I start, I may not be able to stop again. Dairy and breads are huge binge foods for me and I've enjoyed being able to say for the last two weeks, "no, I can't eat that, it's not on the approved list". It's almost like I need this rigid food program in order to succeed. To be able to include other items after this next week is concerning for me!
Heaviest weight (June 2014): 283 lbs
Starting weight (July 6th, 2014): 280.2 lbs
Current weight (July 20th, 2014): 270.2 lbs
Goal weight: 160 lbs
Thursday, July 3, 2014
The Clean Program
This past few weeks have been incredibly stressful for me at work. I'm dealing with two issues that are affecting me both physically and mentally: a boss who seems determined to get me to quit and shift work that is destroying my ability to sleep. So, I haven't been feeling too great!
I've spent the past few days reading a book called "Clean" by Dr. Alejandro Junger. It's a three week cleanse program that helps detox your body and aid it in being able to function more normally and effectively. I've never really been a cleansing person, but this program really appeals to me. It seems more like a lifestyle change, rather than a harsh program. And anything that actually gets fruit and veg into my diet has got to be a good thing. I have been feeling pretty crappy for the last few years and I know that it's due in huge part to the food that I eat. If it's processed, instant, and/or microwaveable, it's probably in my kitchen! Fresh food? You can buy that???!?
I think I'm going to follow the program for the full three weeks, since I really need some healthy food in my life. I'm not buying their fancy supplements, but just following the dietary portion. I'm going to go the expensive route for the first week and buy smoothies either from my local organic café or from Whole Foods. I'll probably buy lunch from Whole Foods too. It's going to cost a lot of money, but I'm trying to make it as easy as possible on myself. If I stick with it for a week, then I'm going to investigate buying a good quality blender to make my own smoothies.
I have a bit of a crazy work schedule, but I think I can do it. Shift work really does wreak havoc with my system sometimes. And even something as simple as finding a place that open and sells smoothies when I'm awake could be a challenge when I'm living with weird hours. With some planning, I think I can do this.
I'll keep you updated on how it's going. I'm going to start on Sunday.
The book is fantastic and full of information. They also have a website (www.cleanprogram.com), but that just seems to be a place to sell their supplements. I recommend getting the book. I borrowed mine from the library, so it didn't even cost me anything, and it contains all the information you need.
I've spent the past few days reading a book called "Clean" by Dr. Alejandro Junger. It's a three week cleanse program that helps detox your body and aid it in being able to function more normally and effectively. I've never really been a cleansing person, but this program really appeals to me. It seems more like a lifestyle change, rather than a harsh program. And anything that actually gets fruit and veg into my diet has got to be a good thing. I have been feeling pretty crappy for the last few years and I know that it's due in huge part to the food that I eat. If it's processed, instant, and/or microwaveable, it's probably in my kitchen! Fresh food? You can buy that???!?
I think I'm going to follow the program for the full three weeks, since I really need some healthy food in my life. I'm not buying their fancy supplements, but just following the dietary portion. I'm going to go the expensive route for the first week and buy smoothies either from my local organic café or from Whole Foods. I'll probably buy lunch from Whole Foods too. It's going to cost a lot of money, but I'm trying to make it as easy as possible on myself. If I stick with it for a week, then I'm going to investigate buying a good quality blender to make my own smoothies.
I have a bit of a crazy work schedule, but I think I can do it. Shift work really does wreak havoc with my system sometimes. And even something as simple as finding a place that open and sells smoothies when I'm awake could be a challenge when I'm living with weird hours. With some planning, I think I can do this.
I'll keep you updated on how it's going. I'm going to start on Sunday.
The book is fantastic and full of information. They also have a website (www.cleanprogram.com), but that just seems to be a place to sell their supplements. I recommend getting the book. I borrowed mine from the library, so it didn't even cost me anything, and it contains all the information you need.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Well, hello there, and welcome to my world!
Welcome to my mid-life crisis! All are welcome here. Come and revel in the madness that is my life and join me as I try to make a new start.
A little about me:
So, what's my crisis all about? Well, I've come to the stark realisation that I hate my life and need to make some changes. Oh, I've hated my life for a long time now, probably about the last 38 years, but for some reason, I never felt the need to change. I just wallowed in my unhappiness. I don't want to do that anymore. It's not really working for me, you know? I figure, after doing the wrong things for so long, that it's about time I do something right.
Things about my life that I'm just hating right now (yep, these are those other points that I promised to cover!):
So, that's me in a nutshell. Sounds great, no?! I do have some good points, which I shall regale you with now:
Wow, I have some pretty odd qualities. One more thing about me is that I want to make some changes in my life. I've been all talk so far in my life, but now is the time for action. Obviously I can't change everything at once. I need to make some important decisions in the next few days about what I want to tackle first and what I'm going to do.
That's your introduction to me! :) I don't know how all this is going to evolve, but you're welcome to come along for the ride and see how it goes! Any and all suggestions are welcome.
A little about me:
- I'm a 38 year old female in Canada
- I'm a registered nurse
- Well.... that's about it, really. I'll cover some more points about myself in a sec.
So, what's my crisis all about? Well, I've come to the stark realisation that I hate my life and need to make some changes. Oh, I've hated my life for a long time now, probably about the last 38 years, but for some reason, I never felt the need to change. I just wallowed in my unhappiness. I don't want to do that anymore. It's not really working for me, you know? I figure, after doing the wrong things for so long, that it's about time I do something right.
Things about my life that I'm just hating right now (yep, these are those other points that I promised to cover!):
- I weigh 280 pounds. Yep, I am 280 pounds of awesomeness. Actually, it's not awesomeness, it's fat. Really. I'm not bountiful, voluptuous, queen-sized, or big & beautiful. I'm obese and it's not fun.
- I've become stuck in a job that I hate. I hate the people I work with and my boss hates me. My usual feelings at work involve words like jealousy, anger, mistrust, penalised, tired, fed-up, used, abused, bitter, and bored.
- I'm stuck in a cycle of trying to improve myself, but then sabotaging myself so that I fail. This revolves around feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and low self-esteem and self-confidence.
- I am constantly in pain. I get pain in my feet, lower back, shoulders, and neck. Plus I have almost constant headaches.
- I cannot stop eating.
- I have been paying off a large amount of debt (about $90,000) for 7 years now. I'm almost halfway there. I should have paid this off by now! I waste money on stupid crap.
- I have poor communication skills and cannot stand up for myself.
- I have no friends. Literally, none.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Sounds great, no?! I do have some good points, which I shall regale you with now:
- I'm a pretty intelligent person. I once sat the MENSA entrance test and failed to pass by one question. I was fairly annoyed by that, let me tell you! One question. I think my IQ is about 140, if that kind of thing is important to you.
- I have a fairly healthy sense of humour. You need to when you're a woman who is 6 feet tall and weighs 280 pounds. And a nurse.
- I'm very honest. Which is strange, because my boss seems to think I'm a liar. However, I think she just can't handle my honesty. I don't know if being honest really is a good point, as it seems to freak people out and they end up not believing you. Weird.
- Hmmm... that's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there's more, but I'm stuck in negative, mid-life crisis mode, so I can't think of anything right now.
Wow, I have some pretty odd qualities. One more thing about me is that I want to make some changes in my life. I've been all talk so far in my life, but now is the time for action. Obviously I can't change everything at once. I need to make some important decisions in the next few days about what I want to tackle first and what I'm going to do.
That's your introduction to me! :) I don't know how all this is going to evolve, but you're welcome to come along for the ride and see how it goes! Any and all suggestions are welcome.
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